April 2013



Repetition Is the Secret

Many writers have written about the secret to success, secret to successful financial management and several other secrets. To me, it is only a secret when you don’t know about it or you might have known it before but forgot it completely.

You don’t need the meaning of repetition because I’ll be doing it again (repeating myself). Secret is simply something not known to you or others might have been trying to keep it away from you. You simply remain in the dark because it is a secret.

I remember when I was in primary school precisely class seven. I should confess before telling you my story that I normally do things instantaneously what my mind has convinced me to do if within my capacity there and then. We had done the end of year exams and had passed not so well but the fact remains that I was the top student so naturally I was expected to join the next class. Surely I did as was the people’s expectations.

Since I not always do things to please people, I found internal conviction that I was not competent enough to be in class eight. Yes, I was the top student but with low marks. I knew where I was weak in and so I had to repeat that which I was weak in. I remember clearly when my mathematics teacher was teaching on the board and I found my hand changing in my exercise book the class to read seven. I erased the class eight and wrote seven against it. I waited patiently for the first break so as to take my books and desk and move to class seven.

When it was break time, I did exactly as I had planned and went on to class seven. My friends could not believe their eyes. They said behind my back and others on my face that I was a coward and feared the national exams that were to come then towards the end of that year. Their words were just a passing wind. I didn’t take that to heart. I strongly believed that negative critics are always everywhere to discourage us. I couldn’t allow their words to affect me and so listened and sent them to recycle bin.
The school head teacher who was teaching us Kiswahili came to class seven and found me there seated comfortably. He was at first thinking that probably I had come to borrow something and I would leave since he had come in. He hesitated teaching waiting for me to get out but I fished out from my little bag Kiswahili exercise book. He was perturbed and his voice betrayed him when he stammered, “Gideon er er what are you doing here?” I didn’t have any explanation. “Do I say I want to repeat again? Or I want to learn? I didn’t even know that repeat again is not correct grammatically. I took the former for a reply. He jabbered, “Repeat what? Anyway see me after this class.”


On seeing him later, he dismissed my petitions and in fact called my dad there and then to inform him of what he called uninformed decision. I didn’t know what to expect of my dad’s response because I had not informed anyone of my decision and I guess that is why he referred to it as ‘uninformed decision’. Do you think I knew what that meant? My dad simply dismissed me without giving me any room to provide evidence to substantiate my pleas.

I went to the head teacher later and explained myself out thinking that by doing so he would be a favourable vessel to convince my dad otherwise after himself being convinced of my need to repeat class seven. Though young as I was, I knew that a way to a man’s heart was through the stomach. I didn’t have anything to give my head teacher for food. I don’t mean bribe but real edible and delicious food but could take any form even money but I wouldn’t call it bribe. Since there are many ways of killing a rat or a man perhaps, I tried another method because the first seemed impracticable. I started by praising him on how he has been good to us and how he was the best teacher I have ever met. I went on painting him of how he was an understanding person and by that he was drawing closer to my net. I could tell all this by how he unusually leant forward in his comfy chair. Slowly I pulled that net ashore. “Sir, you see, I have no stronghold subjects now and the exams will be in a few months’ time. I have this feeling, no; it is now a conviction that I can do better if I repeat a year so as to acquaint myself with all the areas I am weak in. Will you allow me to repeat?” He took a sigh and looked me in the eyes. What he said next was enough to tell me that he was not in the net I was pulling. “I have been wondering what you were driving at when you lavished all these praises on me. I appreciate anyway. Thanks but my decision is final. Didn’t you know that I am a man of one word? Add that to your list so that next time you use if need be in giving praises about me.”

I went away dejected but I knew not all the fish must enter into a net. “He is smaller for the net and so it couldn’t hold him.”  That was my consolation. I finally decided to do class eight the way they had decided with my dad.

When the results came out, I had not passed very well. I had average marks. I was tired of getting average always and by trying to change my position I got barricades on the way. It was now evident to them that I was not good enough and I couldn’t join a good secondary school. To avenge myself on them, I wanted to repeat class eight on a different school, a private school specifically because I was in a public school. This was not easy because all the schools I tried turned me down. I didn’t give up but time couldn’t allow me try more schools. My mind then was singing though in a low tone, “East to West, Home is Best.” And all I could say for a reply was, “I knew that. Did you have to say?”



I went back to repeat in the same school and decided to have a tunnel vision towards my focus. I didn’t want to know what people were talking behind my back let alone know if they were talking in the first case. All that counted for me then was me, my books, my teachers for consultations and my parents for love, support and care. Other people who in one way or all the ways didn’t help me towards my target were crossed miscellaneous written on the last page of my book.


By working hard and not doing hard work, God saw me through and rewarded me accordingly. I passed so well and was then able to join a good secondary school which was dream since the time I heard of its name. High school life passed so swiftly and soon was in university definitely after passing so well again from high school.

University life as dictum has it was different from my expectations. I thought I graduated to an easy life where I would read when I wished to and I would go wherever I find my legs taking me any time of the day. I realized that the work load was an upgrade of what I was doing in high school. It didn’t come to me that the same principle that was guiding me in primary school would come handy then in university until I was in my second year. It was one morning that I woke up to read again what I had read the previous night though I had not understood well. Surprisingly but predictably, I found myself understanding everything. I then conclusively said: Repetition is the secret; repetition is the key; repetition is the trick.

On presenting a talk to some high school about repetition being the key, I was met with bursts of laughter. They thought I was just making fun. They couldn’t decipher how repetition is the secret to the so much sought after success. In responding to their laughter, I asked them this: “Have you read before what your teacher has come to teach?” For fast readers and curious learners, they might have read before. The next time they are reading or reviewing whichever word they will use is just repetition of the same work. We cannot just grasp everything at the first reading unless we are genius. For most people, the first reading enables them to retain at least 20%. It requires more effort and more repetitions so as to retain more. The more ones read over and over the same things, the more they are at a position of saying them even without looking at the book. The higher the chances that one can explicitly explain with little or no reference at all to the material they read from.

Repetition is not only a secret in the academic field but also in all other aspects of life. The story of Thomas Edison and other renowned people who never gave up the pursuit of their goals are people who repeatedly did things so as to succeed. At the first trial, it is unlikely that one just succeeds unless luck accompanies them. Luck will not be with us always so we need to have this little gem of repetition with us to keep encouraging us when the going gets tough. We need to just repeat what seems hard twice or thrice and we’ll find it better than it was initially. Failure comes into existence when repetition dies. Failure would be non-existent had we been repeating things several enough to succeed in life.

Have you failed in football? Have you failed in business? Have you failed in your academics? Have you failed in life? For most their answers will be “Yes” but let me tell you that you never failed but YOU GAVE UP. You failed to repeat it again. I know I have repeated myself by saying repeat it again but that is what I meant, doing it over and over just like the word repeat it again is repeated. Look at where you think you failed and repeat what you failed to repeat. That will be one of the several ways of being sure that success is yours. Repetition is the secret because you didn’t know or perchance laughed when you first heard it. Repetition is the trick when you know when and why to apply it. Repetition is the key when it has worked for you and you are preaching the gospel to the others. How many at times have you said this to yourself? “I wish I had tried and failed?” You know it is better to say, “I tried and failed” and not “I failed because I didn’t try.” A negative person or rather who is pessimistic will say, “I repeated but failed” and the optimist will say, “I repeated and I failed.” There is a big difference between the two words. The use of “but” in the first one implies negativity and probably there is no hope again but the second statement gives more information but that does not imply the end thereof.


Since you have known the secret, please repeat what you are doing and see the fruits. Tell others and it becomes your key. Constantly apply in several situations if not all and it will be your trick.
REPEAT.




By Gideon Mutai 
Health is the greatest treasure
God has given us without measure
It should be a source of pleasure
But we discard it in our leisure

We got to reform our ways
To make the initial fire ablaze
For we see nigh draws the end days
Though at times our passions betrays

Revival and reformation we need
In the five quintuplet years 'twas agreed
Showers of blessings we plead
Rem' with prayer and fasting we'll succeed

We pray daily for the latter rain
For Jesus made it all plain
That our labour will not be in vain
The kingdom of heaven we'll gain


Humble Spirit and contrite heart
Is what you need for a start
The Lord's Spirit will not depart
Only if you play your part

A long poem I'll not write
With the Lord make your ways right
Incomparably, He's great of might
And will take over your fight

Last word I will leave
Latter rain you'll receive
That is if you believe
And in heavenly treasures remain naive

Always trust in God
A thing to do not odd
Remove that facade
And with me take a nod



BACKGROUND
In the world we live in today, it has been the question of many whether marriage will work in today’s world with the hard economic times, rampant divorce cases and also stress that comes with it. I know you might be in one and wishing that if times were reversed you would not enter it again. People have been held captives in this institution. It has been a source of problems rather than a source of joy, it has been a cause of many early deaths rather than life propagation unit, it has been a prison with life sentences only to offer without relieve.
If you are a Christian and we go back together to the Garden of Eden where God instituted the first marriage, you will realize that despite sin problem, the first marriage didn’t break up. This therefore doesn’t give us a ground for alibi that the sin problem could be the cause of all these stress that eats up people in marriages. Still in the Garden of Eden, reading between the lines will reveal to you that marriage is one of the institutions that God made it holy and He never intended the participants to graduate thereof.
Marriage is one institution unique just as the creator is. It’s where people never do Continuous Assessment Tests (CATs) or Exams that count at the end of the period. It has no end here on earth but it’s just a prelude of how things will be in Heaven when we will all be rejoined with the big family.  The only exams in marriage are the challenges that people go through. It’s not a test of what people have been studying but how much one can apply life skills, virtues and techniques in problem solving. Without these very exams that many hate, participants become weak, crumbly, dejected and will never grow in all aspects of life.
Stress is the major cause of the divorce, suicide, separations, vendetta, battering and hatred. It’s paramount to note that no one is without stress. Animals also sometimes have stress. Our bodies produce cortisol which has been regarded as the “stress hormone”. The big issue is not how long have you been stressed or the magnitude of the same, but how to manage it.
I intend to approach this issue of stress management in a peculiar manner. I’ll write it in a form of constitution and I believe it will help those who will appreciate it. It’s not a standard measure of everyone but at least it affects many if not all. It doesn’t talk to those in marriage alone but also those contemplating on getting admission to this institution. Let those affected say:

PREAMBLE
We the students of Holy Marriage Institution of no Graduation;
Acknowledging the supremacy of the Almighty God of all creation.
Committed to the duties that are in this institution
Proud of our physical, economical, educational and personality differences and all round diversity and determined to live in love, peace and unity as one indivisible beings based on God’s Mathematics of one plus one equals to one.
Respectful of our parents and guardians, young and the old, small and great; respectful of the environment and society, which is our heritage, and determined to sustain it for the benefit of future generations.
Committed to providing our children the basic needs and education, teaching them duties to enable them grow physically, socially, mentally, spiritually ,in favour with God and man; to provide love, care and protection to our children whether borne of us or adopted and chief of all to be an exemplary example to them.
Recognizing the aspirations of my partner and our children (if any) based on the essential values of human rights, equality, freedom, democracy, social justice and rule of law.
Exercising our sovereign and inalienable right to see to it that life is preserved and protected.
Adopt, Enact and give this constitution to ourselves and our future generations.
GOD BLESS OUR INSTITUTION.

SOVEREIGNITY OF THE MEMBERS AND THE SUPREMACY OF THIS CONSTITUTION
This is the constitution of HOLY MARRIAGE INSTITUTION OF NO GRADUATION, herein referred to as HMIONG
This constitution is not the supreme law of the institution but a suggestion and therefore no member shall be above the provisions provided for in this document if they adopt it.
 And shall apply to all members; and subject to the clauses enlisted herein, if any rule is inconsistent with this constitution, this constitution will prevail and that other rule shall, by the extent of inconsistence be null and void.
This constitution is, explicit of which otherwise shall be interpreted by the students. We declare that no provision herein shall, or will constructed as to qualify, defeat or in any manner contravene the expected norms, Any such provision shall to the extent of the contravention have no effect. Without prejudice to the aforesaid, it is specifically provided here under that.

ARTICLE I: NAME
God the founder of this Institution hereby resolve, declare and pronounce that there shall be established an Institution to be known as, HOLY MARRIAGE INSITUTION OF NO GRADUATION.
Addressed and called by the name of and therein referred to as the “INSTITUTION” to act and function in accordance and following the provision of this constitution and the divine principles.

ARTICLE II: DEFINITION
This Institution is composed of two people only who voluntarily left their parents and were joined together to become one and are ready to live together in and out of season till death do them apart. HMIONG shall be guided by this constitution at several times.

ARTICLE III: AIMS AND OBJECTIVES
The sole purpose of HMIONG is twofold. One is for companionship and the other is procreation according to the institutor.
A.    The objectives of the institution are as follows:-
(i)     To assume one’s roles without supervision or complains. Men build houses and women build homes. “What a man can do a woman can do”, is an old archaic and unbiblical concept that should be ditched. Each one to do the roles they consciously know they are right (according to them) and ought to do. Woman was created to be a helper and not servant.
(ii)   To train up a child in the way s/he should go: and when s/he is old, s/he will not depart from it. Training is not left to external persons apart from the parents only. House helps on that matter are not qualified for the training.
(iii) To provide all the basic needs for the children without hesitation or crumbling. The children are ours and no discrimination in providing the needs. To address the wants of the same children based on the urgency and availability of funds.
(iv)  To organize regular sessions of talks to address issues that might be affecting us. Communication is indispensable in any relationship and it’s the only platform where issues that would otherwise lead ultimately to stress are levelled off. If communication is strangled and numbed by any of the partners, solutions to all problems will hardly be found. Don’t forget the few moments when silence is eloquence!
(v)    To arrange outings, tours or hikes to appreciate the nature and probably solve incumbent, intermittent or malignant problems. Every problem has a solution if only time, ideas and patience are cooked in the same pot.
(vi)  To raise funds through acceptable means which would be used for the objectives   mentioned above.
(vii)   To manage and maintain the family property with utmost care and responsibility for the benefit of all.
(viii) To use judiciously the family funds in things worth having and sticking to the stipulated budget written by both partners.
(ix)  To have family worship daily if we are to grow spiritually. This is a forum of acknowledging the Principal of the Institution and singing ‘How Great Thou Art’.
(x)    To provide the conjugal rights without resentment or withdrawal remembering that it’s a wonderful gift from the creator. Both partners should be in a mood to enjoy the same and temperance should reign superior. Excess or under of the same is not called for.
(xi)  Wife to submit unto her own husband, as unto the Lord. Husband to love his wife as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.
(xii)                        To consult the Bible for the many divine principles that governs the institution.
(xiii)                      To always bear in mind that marriage is not a casual relationship to be entered into or dismissed at will. It is a lifetime commitment having unity, love, trust and faithfulness as the features that characterize a good marriage.

ARTICLE IV: INSTITUTIONAL STRUCTURE
CLAUSE I: HEAD (1 MEMBER)
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the Saviour of the body. (Ephesians 5:23, KJV). He is the chairperson of the talks held provided he is sane at all times.
CLAUSE II: VICE PRESIDENT
Wife is a helper to husband. She is a companion to the husband made from the bones and flesh of the husband so they are of the same body. Vice president can assume the roles of the head in his absence or demise. They both work together and no one is greater than the other just like the hand is not greater than the eye. The unifying factor is the origin of both: same body.
CLAUSE II: OFFICERS
These are the children either borne to the married couple or adopted by them willingly (whether they were and are able to bear children or not). Children are not part of the executive committee but might be consulted depending on issues at hand.

ARTICLE V: RULES AND REGULATIONS
CLAUSE I: MEMBERSHIP
        i.            Membership to the institution shall be open to all volunteers who share the common objective of not graduating and living together as husband and wife till death do them apart.
      ii.            Everyone will be considered a member upon official confirmation and public pronunciation officiated by pastor or having duly signed the forms that recognize the union of the two (male and female ONLY).
    iii.            Those who concede to be admitted should be of age and mature enough to withhold the pressure that responsibilities and challenges bring about soon thereafter the union.

CLAUSE II: MEMBERS RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES.
All members of the institution shall be:
                    I.            Entitled to enjoy the conjugal rights without compromise.
                  II.            File complaints and special meetings to address cropping issues.
                III.            Entitled to access financial records.
                IV.            Oppose decisions made, with good and viable reasons.
CLAUSE III: DUTIES OF THE EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE.
                 i.   Shall ensure all members (including children) uphold this constitution (where applicable to them).
               ii.   This constitution is free from willful interferences
             iii.   Make by laws to enhance the smooth running of the family.
              iv.   Draw the family annual budget.
                v.   Approve and meet all financial obligation of the family.
CLAUSE V: CONTROL
1.      Any member who acts contrary to the interest of the institution shall be warned and enlisted in the prayer items. If the same member continues, much prayer is done to combat that.
ARTICLES VI: FINANCE
CLAUSE I: BUDGET
The budget shall be made by the executive committee (husband and wife). Allocation of funds will be strictly governed by availability of funds and high priority objectives.
CLAUSE II: ACCOUNTS AND AUDIT
a)      The executive committee shall maintain books of accounts in which shall be recorded proper details of all monies, investments and other properties and assets received and paid into and out of the Family Fund.

ARTICLE VII:  MEETINGS
CLAUSE I: ANNUAL GENERAL MEETINGS.
This is a date when the family is having a go get-together. This is when the success and the failures are addressed. Everyone gets a chance to air their pleas, congratulatory messages, reprove or corrections. It’s a time to celebrate and chart the way forward for pending items.
CLAUSE II:  EXECUTIVE COMMITTEE MEETINGS.  
The couple should be meeting daily if possible to just have a chat, drink or meal. If profession deters the same, meeting should be at any given break or holiday. It’s not an option but a must. Communication should be always no matter the distance apart. This is for the best interest of the family and the marriage institution at large. 
ARTICLE VIII: AMENDMENTS OF THE CONSTITUTION.
        I.            Amendments to this constitution should be done only in consultation with the BIBLE. No clause or article should be changed if found to be in alignment with the divine principles and the accepted norms of the society.
      II.            The constitution review committee shall comprise of the 2 members of the executive committee.
ARTICLE IX: AFFILIATION
Shall not be affiliated to any party, organization, club, institution or group; the institution will ever remain unique to the universe and its principles.

ARTICLE X: DISSOLUTION
The institution may be dissolved if:
                          i.      One of the partners is found unfaithful (mpango wa kando). However, the members don’t have the right to dissolve by themselves.
                        ii.      If one of the partners passes on, the remaining partner may re-marry but not living with anyone else who is not their husband.

CONCLUSION
Stress in most cases is caused by things we can avoid.  It’s by knowing the root cause that the solution can be found. Unless people are willing to communicate and dissect the problem, stress can never be managed. The problem with the same is its contagiousness. It spreads from the head even unto innocent children. The constitution written above might look simple but if followed to the latter with the divine principles that govern marriage, stress would not eat up people. Treat the cause to manage the disease. Stress treads on where the divine principles of marriage have been trodden down by men. Stress accompanies those who are not willing to communicate when they need to. Stress attacks only a willing recipient who might have a weak immunity or lack antibody skills to fight it. Use your innate immunity to manage stress. Acquired immunity that is specific to the stress will help only when innate is working.
References:
1.      Reproductive Health Program for Rural Communities (RHPRC Trust-Kenya) constitution
2.      The Holy Bible, KJV version

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